REPENTANCE or revealed secrets in memory of 150,000 victims of fratricidal war

IN EARLY 1993 I was invited to Tehran.

We met with representatives of the opposition in one of the government residences. In one of the meetings, after long debates and disputes, tasks and activities were identified.

Since I studied in Moscow and had many friends among journalists and politicians of Russia (in those years some of my classmates at Moscow State University worked in the Russian Presidential Administration) I was offered to work in Moscow.

APPROXIMATELY in August 1992, after I got to know the faces and plans of fellow believers, I separated myself from the opposition at that period. Even I was notified that, I and Hoji Akbar Turajonzoda were included in their “black list” and if they had won, they would certainly have executed us. Killers just waiting for the order “FAS”.

BACK to the Tehran meeting.

When the turn to speak came to me, I said:

- I will express all your sins and transgressions, if you acknowledge them and repent, then I am with you.

I started from Shodmon, Yusuf, Tohir, and Abdujabbor. They listened to me calmly and sometimes said “true, true”. Turajonzoda, too, although I felt that he did not like my critical remarks (when Hazrat was angry, his face turned red) did not react much. The turn came to Muhammadsharif Himmatzoda. As soon as I listed his sins, he exploded:

- Dodojon, I know you well. Your newspaper “Charoghi ruz” is a Jewish newspaper! You serve the Jews!

- This is your level. Therefore, the opposition was defeated. Those who did not see wealth in their life and drank tea with caramel, took the reins of the state in their hands and shamed everything! - I answered.

Our quarrel has dragged on. Others intervened and defused the situation. The meeting ended in repentance. All came to the conclusion that we forget the past and start working from scratch. With a pure heart, sincerely, together ...

I CAME to Moscow. Prior to the signing of the Peace Agreement, I was not considered day or night. Every day I met with journalists, experts, politicians, representatives of embassies and human rights activists.

With the assistance of the former mayor of Dushanbe - Maqsud Ikromov (one of his friends was ministers in the Russian government) and Alexei Simonov - the president of the Glasnost Defense Foundation, the newspaper Charogi Ruz was published in Tajik, Russian and English. The release of the first edition of the newspaper was financed at a distance of NED - an American foundation, which representatives themselves found me.

THOUSANDS of interviews and comments in newspapers, on radio and television, speeches at symposia and international conferences - ranging from the US Congress to the OSCE, from European embassies to Arab countries ...

The programs “Vesti”, and “Vremya” /“Time”/ in the prime time mode (it is difficult to imagine now) reported on the publication of the latest issue of “Charoghi ruz. Several of our correspondents were honored with the American Helmann-Hammett Award.

This is not to brag, but it is necessary to tell the truth: not only the leaders of the opposition, but even the government recognized that the opposition in the information war won and this same D.A. was its chief-in-editor. More than once from the mouth of Said Abdullo Nuri these words were sounded at the meetings: “Dodojon is the mojahed №1”.

I will say openly in these quarter-century that after the creation of the “Vatandor”, millions of dollars (!!!) passed through my hands. But I never bought a car and real estate for myself. None of the world.

More than once I was detained at airports, committed attempts, imprisoned, I changed my place of residence hundreds of times. I was disheartened by renting someone else's home, railway stations and airports.

Today, a few bad people, heathens, damned people blame me for selling out, asking for a report, what have I done?

FOR THE FIRST TIME in Dushanbe, all my property was openly stolen with a KamAZ vehicle. In the apartment and the house where I lived, now live others.

Another time in Moscow, when I was in France for six months, the thieves “robbed” the apartment I was renting. The thieves did not leave a single photo, a single book, nor the “Charoghi ruz” archive, nor a single disk or tapes, which were HISTORICAL. For me it was the most powerful blow.

TODAY, I saw this photo and my heart sank.

Most of these fighters were my friends or supporters.

Someone was killed.

Who will bring flowers to their grave?

Someone is sitting behind bars, dreaming of freedom.

Where is the fate of their children?

Maybe many people do not know their names or did not know them initially!

Who will remember them?

TODAY the area is full of insects.

They want people to forget the history.

  These people, who do not know ritual ablution, prayers, without a past and without memory, slaves in ties, who YESTERDAY did nothing but saturate their belly and destroy, how could they know the value of Homeland, Freedom, and the Struggle?

Look at this photo, these faces.

They were bought for the factory and shop, position and armchair, market and company.

TODAY they again call on the square of naive young people. They invite to Europe, promise to give them this or that. When we will take the power, you will become ministers and ambassadors. We have “big projects”. Come join us, we will get for you a shelter.

DO NOT BELIEVE! Believing a traitor once is probably a sign of nobility. But to believe a second time is the height of stupidity.

Do not believe if they repent a hundred times,

Do not believe if they swear a hundred times.

Do not believe if they spread an addrress  a hundred times.

Do not believe if they promise a hundred times.

ALL their words are lies.

All words are repetition. My repeat. Others repeat. They are an empty container. What is poured there, it will flow.

Their prayers are lies.

Their being a muslim is a lie.

Their humanity is a lie.

FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, the government has spoken and written about me. But the curse that I heard from the lips of the current opposition, not a single government official can afford.

Look at the faces of these early-matured people, listen their speak. Scroll through their biography. The mouse is above them. The cat is much cleaner than them. The fox is much more conscientious than them. The rooster is much more vain than them.

NAHZAT /renaiccance/ was the Nuri’s property.

The Allliance is the brainchild of Kabiri.

Renaiccance, after Kabiri dismissed it, still has his followers.

What about Kabiri’s findings?

They are not worthy of the old gal Nuri. The eyes of a single ape do not emit light. With some of them you should not even sit next to each other. What can be in one row with them? Sit at one dastarkhan?

Kabiri’s alliance is a scam.

On the left - the goof, on the right - the goof, in the middle - the goof, on the other side - the goof.

Lokhov Lokh Lokhovich.

Lokh Lokhzoda.

Lokh bin Lokh!

WHICH of them does any minister, ambassador, president of the country know? Which of them represents from himself something to follow his example? Which of them know anyone other than his livestock or the same outcast? Who can quote at least one sentence, one line, one word, one of their acts?

ADVISERS give their advice from four sides. Create a coalition. Unite. Even a it is clear for blind donkey that coalition is good. However, with whom? With those for whom there is nothing holy? With those who considers themselves as the Deputy of the Most High? With those who do not have a single drop of courage and bravery? With one artist whose listeners are two or three stragglers and stuck in the way?

Why does everyone see only me? Well, I agree, I am bad. Why does no one say that Group-24 also announced that it would never board a broken ship of Kabiri? For God's sake, admit it, you know, but pretend to be deaf that you have not heard Rahmatullo Zoirov's words about Kabiri's treason?! Muhammadruzi Iskandarov also said from behind the bars that he would never recognize the Kabiri’s party. The communists also do not go to see the look of EMIR SUCK.

SYMBOLS that always bring me around. Who visited me in Moscow, saw how a piece of dry bread hung on my wall. If I found a piece of raisins, I shared it not only with forty, but with four hundred people. In Berlin, I will hang this picture in order not to get used to calm, not to break, not to turn off the beaten track. Alive and dead, the memory of whom is always with me. The angels that fly in my house.

REPENTANCE. We are the guilty generation. We were on this or on that side of the front. Or indifferently silent, as if misfortune did not fall upon our head. The only way is to repent and regret, to ask forgiveness from the Most High and the People. Make promises that can never be broken. And to do everything possible so that blood will never again be shed on our land. These are my doctrine, program and instructions. Both for the government and for the opposition.

GOD! Allah, jalla jalalahu (pray)! Give me a seat next to the penitents, and worshipers! Do not take me away from the memory of those who gave their lives for freedom and justice. Do not let me to destroy their hope. May I take care of myself and my being. Give me the hardness in my way. May I not achieve anything, but let them not to say that he turned from his path.

NOT WANT is a hundred time worse than NOT CAN...

D.A.